When I was in high school, I joined the track team and ran the mile and half mile. I also ran cross country. In 9th grade, I was the league champ for the frosh/soph category. I ran a 17:39 5k. Same year, I was training to run a 4:30 mile. The closest I got was 5min flat. The person behind me came in 10 seconds later.
Ask me what happened my sophomore year…
I was afraid of losing. I couldn’t bear the thought of coming in second or last. I was also overwhelmed by the training. I’ll never forget the feeling of quitting. It hurt….it hurt bad.
I hate fear. And the kind of fear I’m talking about is the paralyzing stuff where it causes you to stop dead in your tracks.
John Ortberg describes fear like this:
“…an internal warning cry that danger is nearby and we had better do something about it. It is designed to be what researchers call a “self-correcting mechanism”—to be unpleasant enough to motivate us to take action and remove ourselves from whatever is threatening us. It readies our body to flee, hide, or fight.”
book on amazon
We perceive something as dangerous, unpleasant, or threatening. Our bodies go into flight, fight, or fright mode. The word literally means “danger”!
But why is that my classmates Seth, Tim, and Ian weren’t afraid enough to quit? Why did I quit? Why did I give in to fear and why did I see it more as a threat than they did?
Somehow my perception of racing felt like danger and a threat to my sense of value and worth. I equated winning and losing to my self-worth and I was more worried about that than actually racing and having fun.
This is the famous buzz word I’ve heard recently. It’s about how we frame, perceive, and see things. A “jacked up” view can cause us to see things through optics of fear. What someone see’s as an opportunity, others see it as a threat or dangerous to their livelihood.
In the Bible, the number one mandate repeated isn’t about how to love God, others, or to do good (although they’re the most important). Nope. The most repeated mandate is “DO NOT BE AFRAID”.
Lost dreams, unfulfilled goals, and lack of trying…are they optics of fear that have paralyzed us?
The Belgian spiritual writer Bieke Vandekerckhove found out she had terminal cancer at age 19. She writes about three inner feelings she had to work through: sadness, anger, and fear. The first two are easier to name, express, and work through. She says,
“fear paralyzes us, and this paralysis is the very thing which robs us of the strength we would need to combat it…fear can only be suffered. We have to live with it until it recedes on its own…with fear, sometimes all we can do is endure.”
Ronald Rolheiser has quickly become one of my favorite spiritual writers. He may be the next “Henri Nouwen”. In his book, “Wrestling with God”, he says,
“Fear can render us impotent. But naming it properly, recognizing where that symptom belongs and how powerless it leaves us, can help us to live with it, without sadness and anger.”
book on amazon
We may not be able to fix or cure fear completely out of our lives, but we can learn to name it, endure it, and choose to trust God’s invitation to not be afraid (because God is for us, with us, and towards our purpose and potential).
more to name… 🙂