I chose to read Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly, for a seminary class because shame sucks. Her work has been so helpful to many, including myself. Last night, I was recounting how helpful it is to be aware of your shame triggers so that you recognize the patterns.
Brown says that “Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging”, (p.69). I describe it as the feelings and thoughts that tell us “something is wrong with me”. I remember feeling different when I was younger, asking myself “what’s wrong with me”. It’s an ugly feeling.
Brown lists 12 shame categories to be aware of. Her books talks about building shame resilience as a way to cope with the shame triggers:
- appearance and body image
- money and work
- motherhood/fatherhood
- family
- parenting
- mental and physical health
- addiction
- sex
- aging
- religion
- surviving trauma
- being stereotyped or labeled
