Don’t Waste The Pain

“Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance. Choosing to live and love with our whole hearts is an act of defiance. You’re going to confuse, piss off, and terrify lots of people— including yourself. One minute you’ll pray that the transformation stops, and the next minute you’ll pray that it never ends. You’ll also wonder how you can feel so brave and so afraid at the same time. At least that’s how I feel most of the time… brave, afraid, and very, very alive. Rising strong is the final piece of this transformation.”

– Brene Brown

I’m thinking of the young man (it could easily be a woman) in his 20’s (maybe even 30s) who is trying to get his life together after making a lot of personal mistakes.  He feels like a failure, alone, and abandoned.  He may even be angry at the world for the bag he was given.

What you’ve been through is not fair.  The upbringing was rough…it wasn’t your fault.  And yet this is what you have to come to grips with.  You’ll need a lot of support, care, and love.  There will be days when you can’t make sense of the deep pain you feel in your heart.

Your greatest choice today is to live as one who is willing to rise strong, WITH all the anxiety and stress.  The gift of strength is for you to reclaim who you long to be.  It’s unsettling, uncomfortable, and necessary.  You must remember that you are the beloved!  That is your real identity and at the core of who you are.

You’ll need community, care, and courage.  You’ll need a power bigger than you.

And as a friend once said, don’t waste the pain.  I’m not sure what exactly that means.  But I’m starting to understand that with each set of waves (of pain), there is an opportunity to keep rising, growing, and being transformed.

 

The Playgrounds

Playgrounds.  That’s how I relate to the major areas of my life.  I take my life playfully serious.

I have a few different playgrounds in my life.  These seem to be the major ones that I play in on a daily basis:

  • RELATIONSHIPS (marriage, parenting, family, friends, neighbors)
  • RECREATION (music, running, cycling, home projects, basketball with my sons, movie theatre)
  • FINANCES (budgeting, tracking)
  • FAITH (ethics, theology, viewpoints, formation, beliefs, praxis)
  • WORK (seeking vocational competency, creativity, and expression)
  • HEALTH (eating, sleeping, exercising, self-care, compassion)

The idea is to attend to these playgrounds often because they’re very important to the life I long for.

 

Successful Teams Share These 5 Traits

Source:  goo.gl/Hh4ZPD

1. Dependability.

Team members get things done on time and meet expectations.

2. Structure and clarity.

High-performing teams have clear goals, and have well-defined roles within the group.

3. Meaning.

The work has personal significance to each member.

4. Impact.

The group believes their work is purposeful and positively impacts the greater good.

Yes, that’s four, not five. The last one stood out from the rest:

5. Psychological Safety.

We’ve all been in meetings and, due to the fear of seeming incompetent, have held back questions or ideas. I get it. It’s unnerving to feel like you’re in an environment where everything you do or say is under a microscope.

But imagine a different setting. A situation in which everyone is safe to take risks, voice their opinions, and ask judgment-free questions. A culture where managers provide air cover and create safe zones so employees can let down their guard. That’s psychological safety.

Questions:

  • What if current team members don’t exude these traits?
  • Can leaders/managers help team members transform into these traits?
  • As a leader, who are you talking to about team and leadership development?  What practices are you doing to shape your leadership formation?

Reflections

  • These are habits/practices to embody for life, not just work.  That’s why we can’t have a dualistic way of seeing work as professional and life as personal.  The name of the game is integration.
  • We can’t become these traits on our own.  We must realize that it’s a process and that we need a means to become this in our core.  They’re not just “soft skills” to attain.  We must become them.

How to Form a Habit, A Scientific Approach

We become our habits, for better or worse.  Here’s a way to engage in habit formation, a virtue ethics of sorts.  [Christian Spirituality has much to offer to the formation of habits as well.  You can read any of Richard Foster or Dallas Willard’s works for more info.]

Source:  http://blog.sqwiggle.com/form-habit-scientific-approach/

A great daily routine is the holy grail of productivity. But the building blocks for that routine, habits, are tough to start, and even harder to change. Whether you want to meditate more, drink more water, or floss more than twice a month, these psychology-backed strategies can help you develop a new habit and keep it from fading.