Home is still the primary place where we shape and form the future. It’s a great reminder for me to be (and live out) what I want my kids to become in this world (what a tall order!).
And it’s also a reminder that the Church is called to be a social communal reality of God’s presence as family. It’s why there are more and more people who don’t care to show up to a church service on Sunday, but will share a meal during the week, spend time with others in other settings for the sake of having honest, loving, truthful relationships.
“You can have all the support in the world while you’re at school or while you’re at basketball and while you’re playing sports or anything, but if you go home and it’s not stable and you don’t have any stability there, you can resort back to the negative things or the bad habits that you might have.”Lebron James, https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/28007714/lebron-james-help-build-housing-promise-school-families
Here’s a link to a post by a fella named Jeff Gunhus. He talks about his experience with reading and interacting with his kids. This has been a struggle for me in the past. I am seeing some light though. And Jeff’s suggestions have been confirmation that we’re on the right path. As an example, my son and I read for an hour yesterday. And we can’t wait to read today. (By the way, I’m posting on my site in order to leave a digital footprint for my son’s to have some resources as they grow.)
JEFF’S 10 TIPS FOR REACHING YOUR RELUCTANT READER
- Set up time to read with them. There’s always time. Sometimes you just have to carve it out of something else.
- Have them read out loud. You’ll know better where they are getting hung up. Kids often avoid reading because they think they’re not good at it. Find out.
- Read with a pencil. Underline words your reader has a tough time pronouncing or can’t define. Transfer to a separate page later.
- Make them feel safe. Set the ground rules. Let them know that you didn’t know a lot of words when you were young. Confide that there are still words that you don’t know. There’s no judgment in the reading club.
- Use books that are fun, easy reads at first. An author who ends each chapter with a white-knuckled cliffhanger helps.
- Only let them read that book in your sessions. Make it special and use the cliffhanger to get them excited for the next session. Encourage a separate book to read outside the reading sessions if they are getting the bug.
- Relate to the book. Figure out how your reader’s life relates to the characters. This helps critical thinking and makes it fun.
- Write your own stories. They don’t have to be novels. But put your reader into the story, even if it’s just their name. Have fun with it.
- Be consistent. Once you set this appointment, nothing can touch it. Nothing.
- Have fun! This isn’t school, it’s supposed to be fun. You might be surprised. I didn’t expect to like the Harry Potter books but I loved them. Outside of writing Jack Templar, I had my own burst of reading. It was great fun and the more the boys saw me with a book in my hand, the more likely they were to do the same. The quiet mornings with my boys became some of my favorite times with them. I hope you can experience the same.
Our parenting is a product of our upbringing. Like it or not. The gift of knowing this dynamic is that we can reflect and learn from it, as well as add new tools to our parenting tool belt.
I recently came across the following graph on parenting:
Diana Baumrind, a child development psychologist, came up with the graph.
What quadrant do you fall into? I float between a few of them and am obviously striving for the “Authoritative Style”.