We went to go see Alvin and the Chipmunks today. I went for the kids…not because I want to be like Alvin.
I have been getting frustrated with my older one as of late. He’s six years old going on 17. He wants to argue with me about everything and wants to use the words “NO”, “I’m bored”, “No, Dad. You’re wrong. It’s like this ________!” He’s smart and he knows it.
It’s tough being a parent. I get frustrated, irritated and angry that he won’t listen, especially when I’m in a rush (which could be a lot of the times). Hence, my connection to Dave, the parental figure, who I sound like. Only, I’m saying “CHRISTOPHER!”
I want to be a loving, nurturing, supportive father. I think I am, for the most part. But there’s a string of days where things aren’t clicking in our relationship.
A relationship. With my son. Yes. It’s a relationship. I know they’re our “kids”, but a relationship is still required. A great one at that. It requires me understanding my little man, listening to his needs and trying to care for him in a way where he feels loved and cared for.
I was grateful for the movie because it reminded me of how parenting and growing up is tough. Children are changing. It’s draining being a parent. It’s tough work. It never stops. It’s frustrating. Dave’s frustation with Alvin is quite deliberate by the creator. He must have related to the characters.
Nevertheless, I welcome and accept the reality that sometimes, things will escalate to some yelling and conflict. We’re hispanic and we yell. It’s all good.
It’s okay to be upset. It’s not okay to lose our cool.
It’s okay to yell. It’s not okay to yell demeaning rants.
It’s okay to be frustrated. It’s not okay to lose self-control.
It’s okay to yell “Alvin”. It’s not okay to scream at our kids and put them down.
Another movie reminded of what we ought to be saying to our kids AND what they (we) yearn to hear: “You is smart. You is kind. You is important” (from “The Help”).
Peace be with us parents.