The unity of these three realities creates a healthy balance that helps to keep me truthful, loving, and generous. Aware of God Aware of myself Aware of others In Richard Rohr’s language, I seek the good, the true, and the beautiful as I become aware of God, myself, and others. This triad creates a healthy … Continue reading A Vision Much Larger
An Increase in Responsibility
“Life rarely changes in a positive way without an increase in responsibility.” James Clear Think about the primary pain points you might have (personally or professionally). What’s it going to take to address it? Whatever it is, the fix is not “out there”. For a positive change to happen, there will need to be an … Continue reading An Increase in Responsibility
Gratitude and Wholeheartedness
Gratitude is not just about saying thanks. It’s the way of wholeheartedness. It’s cleaning your side of the street (as a friend put it) that does not allow cynicism to take over, negativity to be the dominant posture, or resentment to be the bedroom partner. From a religious perspective, it’s acknowledging that God maintains your … Continue reading Gratitude and Wholeheartedness
Gratitude and Forgiveness – Holiday Hustle
There are two things we can practice for the entirety of our lives: gratitude and forgiveness. The spiritual life is concerned with both. I can’t think of more vital practices during the holiday’s than gratitude and forgiveness. Gratitude There are better, deeper writers on this subject than I can offer. To be grateful is to … Continue reading Gratitude and Forgiveness – Holiday Hustle
The One Thing Parents Can Do
Through the years, so many conscientious parents have asked me, “How can I spare my children this discord through which I have had to pass?” My answer has always been something of a disappointment to them. The one thing parents can do for their children is live their lives as fully as they can, for … Continue reading The One Thing Parents Can Do
Hope During Suffering
'Be merciful to me, Lord , for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. But I trust in you, Lord ; I say, … Continue reading Hope During Suffering
God Has Our Best Interest
se conversations happen in the hospital room, hospice, or in someone's living room. They're obscure places, hidden, in solitude. They smile and gently squeeze my hands, assuring ME that they're going to be ok. There is a lightness in the room, a sense that whatever fear or worry they've had, it's been shared with Jesus and He is assisting in carrying the cross with them.
Dealing with Uncertainty
We have felt so many threats these last two years: pandemic, school shutdowns, political wars, US vs THEM outbreaks (vax vs unvaxxed, what's the truth). There seems to be so much uncertainty that causes distress. Who can you trust? What can you trust?
Psalm 119 is Special
"Those who guard God’s laws are truly happy! They seek God with all their hearts. I keep your word close, in my heart, so that I won’t sin against you." Psalms 119:2,11 Psalm 119 is special. It hits different. I love the practical wisdom it offers, and it comes from someone who is aware of … Continue reading Psalm 119 is Special
Courage and Peacemaking
In Thich Nhat Hanh's book on anger, he invites us to cultivate peace in our hearts instead of trying to find it "out there". We must learn how to acknowledge our anger and cradle it as a baby infant so that we don't act out in tantrums.
Communication – Peace Begins With You
In his book on Anger, Thich Nhat Hanh is teaching me to overcome hurt and disappointment with compassion and forgiveness. In the Gospels, Jesus is moved with compassion and forgiveness. As a chaplain and consultant, I believe these teachings have a place in the workplace. These virtues are sometimes most needed in your area of … Continue reading Communication – Peace Begins With You
When you can’t afford therapy
For many, therapy is not an option because of finances/insurance, cultural taboos, or the thought of sharing personal information feels uncomfortable (or another version of this). Here are some options when you can’t afford therapy: Read (or listen to audiobooks 2x faster which studies show you may retain more) as much as you can on … Continue reading When you can’t afford therapy
By the time I hear
By the time I hear the phrase “lack of communication”, the person saying it is already feeling isolated and unappreciated. They might even feel angry, anxious, or irritable. When people say there is a lack of communication on the team, I ask them to share a story or an example. And what I really hear … Continue reading By the time I hear
Starting point
Before trying to "fix" a problem and when trying to figure out "what's going on", Start where people are ...not where you think they are or should be, or where you are. Find out where they are by listening, being curious, and asking further questions for clarity.
God, Come Through!
‘See, the home* of God is among mortals.He will dwell* with them;they will be his peoples,*and God himself will be with them;*he will wipe every tear from their eyes.Death will be no more;mourning and crying and pain will be no more,for the first things have passed away.’Revelation 21 God became human form that human form … Continue reading God, Come Through!
Masculinity – Self Mastery
Here's a Diddy from Timothy Keller... Men who indulge...We've certainly seen our fair share of men who live in excess. Politicians, church leaders, neighbors, executives, athletes. We may even be "that dude". For all the masculine wars I've seen online about how to define masculinity, there is still a need for men to be taught … Continue reading Masculinity – Self Mastery
Thriving and Self Care
Stress and anxiety. That’s what my doctor shared with me about 15 years ago when I went in for an appointment. I was tired, couldn’t sleep, and felt like I had a ton of bricks on my chest. After a medical exam, he determined that I was under a lot of stress. “What’s causing the … Continue reading Thriving and Self Care
Difficulties in Prayer
Reading and reflecting on "Guided by the Spirit: A Jesuit Perspective on Spiritual Direction" by Frank J. Houdek, SJ I remember Eugene Peterson once saying that someone wanted to talk to him about their marriage issues. But before they started, he asked them about their prayer life. What does prayer have to do with marriage … Continue reading Difficulties in Prayer
Robes and Vulnerability
“They dressed him (Jesus) up in an elegant robe”Luke 23:11 They’re obviously mocking Jesus. He was stripped, practically naked. Was his vulnerability too much for them?Was he too exposed?The image too real?His heart of love worn on his sleeve too much for them? He was naked.They mocked him. Did they, for a moment, realize that … Continue reading Robes and Vulnerability
Family Value: Self-Motivated
My childhood required me to be self-motivated and driven. It was in part to survive but also because I wanted something new that I hadn't experienced before. My wife and I are very self-motivated and driven. This means that we don't need someone telling us what to do every corner. We do need advice, some … Continue reading Family Value: Self-Motivated
A Shift In Church is Now Here
A shift in church world is now here. People have been talking about it happening for a while now. But it's here. The pandemic ushered it in. NOTE: I'm using CHANCE THE RAPPER as an example of someone who is incarnating this model of living. He recently produced a movie and bypassed all the regular … Continue reading A Shift In Church is Now Here
Illusions of Fixing and Midpoints
Sometimes when we think about a problem, there is a tendency--a knee jerk reaction--to immediately come up with a solution, a fix. And sometimes that's the right course in circumstances that require an immediate fix. But most do not. Most problems will require slowing down, listening, and noticing how you're reacting. Some defaults include avoiding … Continue reading Illusions of Fixing and Midpoints
God’s Self-Revelation and Pastoral Vocations
Some time ago, I had a friend who asked if a family member could call me to discuss chaplaincy (throughout the year, I'll have a few of these conversations with people who want to know more about corporate chaplaincy). The family member called and shared her interest in the work of the chaplain. As I … Continue reading God’s Self-Revelation and Pastoral Vocations
Ego Strength and Conditional Love
Richard Rohr talks a lot about needing Ego Strength in the first of half of life so that we can survive and cope. It helps us develop identity, our gifts and talents, and help us to get on with life. This ego strength is sometimes not received when we were growing up. It would require … Continue reading Ego Strength and Conditional Love
Thomas Merton on Apostolic Work and Results
For some of us, we use our work to prove that we are alive and valuable. We live out of a fear that we're not good enough so we work hard to prove that we are. This causes great anxiety. Some of us also take on mythical causes--knights in shining armor--thinking that we can rescue … Continue reading Thomas Merton on Apostolic Work and Results
The Church and Healthy Leadership
source: In doing research for a paper on the mission of God and the marketplace, I came across Patrick Lencioni's works on organizational health and management. He's been consulting with companies for years and recently, he's been working with parishes (he's deeply committed Catholic Christian). In this short interview, he explains how church staff and … Continue reading The Church and Healthy Leadership
Parenting Ourselves, Faith, and Kids
I love using the end of the year (typically starting late November through the first weeks of January) to assess the previous year and what my hopes and longings are for the following year. Notice I didn't say GOALS or RESOLUTIONS. My motivation is a lot more focused if I think about my hopes and … Continue reading Parenting Ourselves, Faith, and Kids
The Gospel is a Public Truth
The dualism of private/public, personal/professional is being unraveled in me and around me. The fragmentation and disembodied faith that is birthed under this dualism is the cause for much of the broken policy and polity we are seeing. The Gospel healed me (and continues to) but it also CHALLENGES me to think of my life … Continue reading The Gospel is a Public Truth
God Speaks Peace over Political Storms
1.22.2021 - Homily Mark 4:35-41 On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, ‘Let us go across to the other side.’ And leaving the crowd behind, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. Other boats were with him. A great gale arose, and the waves beat into … Continue reading God Speaks Peace over Political Storms
A Cold December
December 2020 has been cold. We have great weather in San Diego year round. Usually in the 70s. So when it drops to the 30s and 40s at night, or we try to go cycling in 45 degree weather morning time, I complain and fret. I’m sleepier during the hour change. The colder, dry weather … Continue reading A Cold December
Long Living and Dwelling Satisfaction
We are living longer these days. Into our 80s and 90s. And strong. By all accounts, I'm barely halfway if I live to be 85. I've seen and done a lot of things that have brought me joy. Sometimes I wake up and ask myself if the life I have is it. I've been trying … Continue reading Long Living and Dwelling Satisfaction
Richard Mouw and the Workplace
“Christ will transform culture at the end time. The ships of Tarshish, presently vessels that serve rebellious designs, will someday carry the wealth of the nations into the presence of the Creator...Human culture will someday be transformed. Does this mean, then, that we must begin that process of transformation here and now? Are we as … Continue reading Richard Mouw and the Workplace
Contemplative Prayer as a Mexican
I resisted silence for a big part of early 30s. I felt so silenced growing up. Mexican kids aren't allowed to talk back and the narrative is that we don't have a voice (as kids or mexicans). To my surprise, when I was introduced to more contemplative spiritual practices, it caused a well of emotions … Continue reading Contemplative Prayer as a Mexican
Repost: Porn and the Sacred
I was making a list of pastoral theology books today in case I get to teach a course. I had to add Ronald Rolheiser to my list. His books and site are a pastoral diamond mine! It's no surprise that his recent post on pornography came from an angle of deep faith and spirituality. He's … Continue reading Repost: Porn and the Sacred
Obscurity and Deeper Longings
What do I long for? A sense of being whole, accepted, and in congruity with a true self that keeps calling out to me. “For all of us, however, there are moments of dawning awareness, little cracks in our armor that reveal glimpses of our deeper longing and our true nature. We generally don’t like … Continue reading Obscurity and Deeper Longings
Morning Mess
Don’t write or talk until there has been time allotted to silence and solitude, prayer and reflection, lament and repentance. The mind and heart may not know what truth and love really are. If I get up in the morning and the first thing I do is check my messages or jump on social media, … Continue reading Morning Mess
The Lord’s Prayer: OUR and US
A friend of mine reminded me the other day how communal the Lords prayer is. It is filled with the words “Our” and “Us”. We know that the Spirit of God is at work when there are more signs of community, mutual understanding, and a turning towards God and one another in peace. This echoes … Continue reading The Lord’s Prayer: OUR and US
The Image of God is the Image of Justice
But you, God of mercy and compassion,slow to anger, O Lord,abounding in love and truth,turn and take pity on me.- Psalm 86The Lord has made known his salvation;has shown his justice to the nations.Rejoice at the presence of the Lord:for he comes to rule the earth.He will rule the world with justiceand the peoples with … Continue reading The Image of God is the Image of Justice
Prayer for Hatred and Hostility
—— I was convicted recently over an article I read regarding hatred. As a Christ follower, we seek reconciliation with God, our neighbor, and our self. Even if we get upset about political or social matters, we are not to be driven by hatred or stay in a place of hostility. This hatred and hostility … Continue reading Prayer for Hatred and Hostility
Leadership and Civility
In Scott Peck’s book, “A World Waiting to be Born: Civility Rediscovered”, we learn that in order to become healthy organizations, we need to discover the art of civility. Every organization will inevitably have conflict. He goes on to say that, “As consciously motivated organizational behavior, civility (like healthy civics) requires consciousness of one’s self, … Continue reading Leadership and Civility
Morning Prayer
From the Divine Office: (A needed prayer for the rhythms of work) We thank you, Lord, for enlightening us through your Son,— fill us with his light throughout the day.Enlighten us, Lord. Let your wisdom lead us today, Lord,— that we may walk in the newness of life.Enlighten us, Lord. May we bear hardships with courage … Continue reading Morning Prayer
The Art of Dying
When I first started doing ministry and chaplaincy work, I was faced with my own mortality. It didn't take long for me to learn that death was real. My first funeral I officiated was my baptism into this new reality. I didn't realize that the person we were honoring that day--that even their death--they were … Continue reading The Art of Dying
The Myth of Greatness
Scott Peck was a psychiatrist and spiritual director for many years. I've enjoyed his readings immensely. I periodically struggle with my vocation--my sense of calling and purpose in this world. On my best days, I have a sense that I have a gift to listen, care, and be a healing presence to others. On my … Continue reading The Myth of Greatness
Morning Meditation: 6.12.2020
Can you and I just confess that we need instruction and direction? That we get stuck in life, need direction, or just some plain encouragement to keep doing good? My morning times are a means for me to pull myself together and “get into” God’s presence. Sometimes there is a sense of God’s nearness and … Continue reading Morning Meditation: 6.12.2020
Morning Meditation 6.10.2020
Yoke of slavery. I don’t like using that S word for obvious reasons. Maybe a truer expression is to be controlled, oppressed. A yoke of being controlled, manipulated, or made to do something out of threat. In all four passages for today’s liturgical readings, there is a whiff of being controlled or manipulated to be … Continue reading Morning Meditation 6.10.2020
Our God Reigns
There are numerous instances in my life where things (an event, musical piece, relationship, school paper, work situation, a basketball game) seem to be spinning of out control. Chalk it up to things like unknown variables, high emotions and tempers, fears or concerns, or multiple voices.Whatever it is, I feel like I'm spinning. Usually, it … Continue reading Our God Reigns
Mutual Empowerment
Since the pain and hurt we feel as a nation is caused by un-wielded power, empower others. How? Here's an example. A wealthy, white business man took a chance to empower me for a new service at his company. I provide corporate chaplaincy services to a dealer group because someone believed in me and gave … Continue reading Mutual Empowerment
Spiritual Formation: on Evasion
“Evasion is directly related to both the closeness of God’s approach to us and to our instinctive withdrawal from God‘s presence. Experiences of God as mystery evoke awe, even fear, in the face of the numinous and uncontrollable otherness of God....T.S. Elliot [says]... ‘if you’ve never run away from God, I wonder who your God … Continue reading Spiritual Formation: on Evasion
Words I Hear as a Chaplain
Throughout the last few weeks, I've been trying my best to listen to each word, inflection, and ways employees are communicating. I'm convinced that it's in these words and communion that something holy is happening. Yes, there is pain and loss. But there is also marks of God's presence nearby. Just gotta look underneath the … Continue reading Words I Hear as a Chaplain
Rumors During a Crisis Repost
I've wondered how and why so many rumors are believed, shared, and talked about. We are "story" natured so we tend to make meaning through storytelling. These "stories" serve to express feelings and maybe even repressed anxieties we've had along the way. Rumors work in much the same way. We're trying to make sense of … Continue reading Rumors During a Crisis Repost