leadership development, pastoral care

The Church and Healthy Leadership

source:

In doing research for a paper on the mission of God and the marketplace, I came across Patrick Lencioni’s works on organizational health and management.

He’s been consulting with companies for years and recently, he’s been working with parishes (he’s deeply committed Catholic Christian).

In this short interview, he explains how church staff and leadership are the primary agents of health in the parish.

He says,

“They have to learn how to trust each other, argue well, make commitments, hold each other accountable, and focus on getting results for God. When they settle for mediocrity, it’s so sad, and that idea of settling for mediocrity because ‘it’s just church stuff so it’s good enough’ has often pervaded our Church.”

Patrick Lencioni

Like companies, the Church has a mission. But its mission has deeper implications than a company (not that it’s “better” than a company). So it requires deeper vulnerability, courage, resilience. Deeper accountability to one another and the work. A deeper commitment to practice leadership health and stay focused on the mission of God…to the world renewed by the love of God. that’s the aim. That’s the focus!!!

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leadership, leadership development

transformative leaders

We have constructed a way of leadership that is distant from others, believing that leading others is a one way street.  But transformative leaders make themselves transparent to others so that both are inspired towards growth.  

I know this leader who has snacks in her office.  Everyone goes to see Teri because they’re hungry throughout the day.  She will say, “Have something to eat, son” and after a few minutes of the employees eating, they start sharing their work and life struggles.  She just listens as they both snack and tell stories.  Teri might offer a story of her own experiences and then as they’re wrapping up, the employee will thank Teri and off they go.  Most employees describe Teri as one of the best managers to work for.  Why?  Because she cares.  Teri makes herself a vulnerable leader–who is not afraid to listen and learn from others.  I should also note that Teri’s department is constantly breaking records in her department.  

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communication, Organizational Health

Healthy Communication: What do I say?… How do I say it?

by Rafee Jajou

Rafee serves as the employee staff care lead at Christian Bros and provides a pastoral presence in La Mesa.  He is a partner with Squarepatch (an employee care service).  He’s also my homie and good friend!


I was raised in a home with a lot of unhealthy communication. Shaming and blame was almost a weekly occurrence. Fear and love were always in a battle. For many of us, we may have learned from childhood what we don’t want in our own relationships and family life. Unfortunately we still inherit some unhealthy ways, and these can even affect our workplace too.

I’m taking an online seminar in healthy boundaries and communication. There are some key ideas that could help any situation where there’s a need for healthy communication. There are 3 main ways of communicating: Passive, Assertive, Aggressive.

Myth: The primary goal in communication is agreeing.
Truth: Priority #1– Our first goal in communication is to understand the other person, regardless if we agree or disagree with someone.

When we listen well and ask questions, we can see what is going on from their viewpoint…

  • If that isn’t the goal, then we’re starting off on the wrong foot and there will eventually be a break-down in communication.
  • We must seek to communicate what’s going on inside of us, and not to assume what’s going on inside of someone else. Our job is to help someone understand us, and ask someone to help us better understand them.
  • Listening well and seeking understanding sends the message, “You matter to me,” and decreases anxiety in the moment.

Communication Styles:

  • A healthy communicator is an assertive communicator. They require people’s respect, and others to manage themselves (be self-controlled) in any given relationship.
  • The passive communicator sends the message “Your needs matter; mine don’t”. They might say things like, “Fine. Whatever you want. Don’t worry about me.”
  • The aggressive communicator believes, “I matter; you don’t”. Fear and intimidation are used to communicate their needs.
  • A passive-agressive communicator sends the message, “You matter… no, not really.” They use sarcasm, innuendos, veiled threats, and manipulation to communicate their needs.
  • Assertive communicators send the message: “You matter and so do I”. They require conversations to involve two self-controlled people. They say things like “I’d be glad to listen as long as this conversation is respectful”, or “I will take you out to the ball game as soon as you’re done with ______.”

So Assertive communication is what we’re practicing and aiming for because it respects the power of both sides and invites growth and trust.

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leadership development, Organizational Health, Uncategorized

Perennial Questions Leaders Need to Answer

I’m a huge fan of Patrick Lencioni.  When I grow up, I wanna be like him.

In this short video, he offers some advice on the questions that need constant clarity within the corporation and departments.  These questions are for every manager to ask and answer for their teams.  They offer clarity…and motivation with purpose.  I call them perennial questions because they’re long lasting and require constant attention.

My son’s have constantly asked “why” questions.  Sometimes it annoys me, but they buy into whatever we’re doing at home when we take the time to answer the “W” questions.

A company should be no different.  People want motivation and purpose to show up to work.  We’re all kids in the sandbox that want to play.  It helps to know what we’re playing and whose “it”.

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