Staying Put in Your Relationship

I’ve been reading this book on marriage by Harville Hendrix on the recommendation of a good friend whose a psycho-analyst and therapist. It’s been helpful to work through my own patterns of thinking and emotions. (link here) It is a lot harder to find our peaceful center when looking into the face of another—especially when…

Repost: You Never Marry the Right Person

source:Marriage is…”flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love and consolation”. Our culture has created very unrealistic values and expectations on marriage and partners

#MarriageStrong: Blaming

From the Boone Center for the Family  I’ve NEVER done this! Blame is one of four coping reactions to pain. It’s common for “blamers” to react in an aggressive fashion that accuses another. In reaction to feeling unloved or unsafe, a blamer tends to make demands or demean others. It’s ironic that a person reacts with…

The 5-7 minute rule of talking about work with your spouse

The 5-7 minute rule of talking about work with your spouse: In countless counseling sessions, I’ve heard partners share their struggles with the “work conversations” when getting home after a long day. In the workplace setting, there are conflicts, crises, and criticism which takes an emotional toll. Naturally, a spouse might want to share their…

Relationships as Sandboxes for Growth

“As a relationship becomes more constructive, the individuals who compose it become freer to change.”  – Howard Clinebell Focus on the enrichment of your marriage (relationship), meeting each other’s mutual needs, as a means to become a whole person.  

Marriage Enrichment

“A happy marriage is one where there is a relatively high degree of mutual need satisfaction.  Conversely, an unhappy marriage has a high degree of mutual need deprivation.  If a relationship produces chronic, unmet emotional hungers, it will diminish the self-esteem of those involved, resulting in rejection, anger, and aggression.” – Howard Clinebell